Meltdown

She sobbed in my arms for forty minutes. She had arrived at the orphanage 48 hours earlier, and all of a sudden it became too overwhelming. I let her cry; just held her and rocked her. I had no words. Life is hard sometimes, and in her six years, she had learned somethings about heartache. She never knew her mother; ma died giving her life. And seven weeks ago, her daddy died. She had since been living with an auntie, who did not have enough time, energy, or resources for another child. Auntie had even less food. Life was not all that great with auntie, but it was all that she knew. Now she was in a strange place; it was so different, and she sobbed for the loss of her previous existence.

As I sat with her, I thought how typical this was of many of us...or at least me. I get comfortable and used to a certain routine and way of life. It might not be great; it might not be the best; it might even be bad; but it is what I know. So even if something comes along that might be better, I can be rather resistant and hesitant and experience a sense of loss. O.K., there could possibly even be some kicking and screaming involved!

She finally calmed down and we continued to sit in silence. It was good to just be together. Then we talked; about her new dollie, and about her favorite song. When she was ready, we joined the rest of her new family outside. It was soon lunch time. I watched her get in line for the dining hall, all evidence of sadness gone. Sometimes, one just has to let it all out and acknowledge that things are difficult and life is scary. That seems to work for me, too. Here, in this place, I find myself many times sitting in the lap of God.

That was four days ago. Now, she is enjoying life. She has played dodge ball; made a paper butterfly; ran relay races; learned how to play "Duck, Duck, Goose"; enjoyed story time; memorized the words to the song "The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round". Today, it was a joy to see her laugh as she attempted to bounce a large ball to her team mates and do "The Hokie Pokie". She is figuring it out that sometimes change is good. Sometimes, change is the best thing!

She still has her sad times, when she misses her daddy, but the big meltdown is past, and life is not so overwhelming now. She does not know it yet, but someday she will: God has His hands around her and it will be O.K.. She can sit in His lap anytime she wants!

Praying that you, too, know where to go when life gets to be too much!
Love, Babs